mentality you had to have out here and anywhere really. Anybody who didn’t have the energy or the drive to make themselves a success at whatever they were doing should be doing something else. But I already knew all of that. I hadn’t wanted to admit it to myself but I knew I didn’t have the energy to pursue a career here. I knew I didn’t have the drive to commit myself to this Hollywood lifestyle and mentality. And I made no secret of the fact that I hated schmoozing. I certainly had no regrets about moving to and living in Los Angeles because I enjoyed a lot of different things about being here. But no matter how you looked at it my whole experience in LA had been nothing more than a beautiful failure. And it was time to accept that. Michelle though…I didn’t even know what to do about Michelle. She and I had met at a bar one night when she approached me because she and her friends wanted to sit at the table I was at. Since I was a few drinks in and feeling pretty confrontational, I told her no. She’s not the kind of girl that takes no for an answer. That encounter somehow led to us getting a ride in the trunk of her friend’s car and I have to say, anytime you’ve been in a trunk with someone it gives you a connection like no other. But it was more than just drunken fun. I loved spending time with her in every sense. She was smart, sharp and very funny. She and I had a lot of things in common which allowed us to keep each other on our toes. And I loved her. At least said I loved her. My actions didn’t always line up with those words since I would stop talking to her from time to time and flat
out refused to compromise on various issues. We butted heads over stupid stuff because we had different ideas about how a relationship should work. It went deeper than her yelling at me because I was late or me being annoyed that she wanted to talk on the phone for hours at a time though. She expected things to
go the way she wanted them to go regardless of what I though or how I felt. I can’t stand that sense of entitlement and often made it a point to show her that her thoughts and feelings weren’t more important than mine because we were equals in a relationship, right? It was just as much about me as it was about her, right? She didn’t seem to agree, so that created some tension. But what relationship doesn’t have its issues? The fact is we had a very real chemistry which isn’t something you find everyday. I loved just spending time with her. Of course it helped that she was gorgeous but just being physically attractive only takes a person so far. I’ve met plenty beautiful girls that I didn’t even want to have an extended conversation with, much less a relationship. We also had a similar sense of humor. Her love of toilet jokes and frequent use of third grade insults always brought a smile to my face, even if it was directed at me. You'd be surprised how someone calling you