list. I often felt like exploding when I was sitting in traffic and whenever she called me I would rant to her about such things so I don’t think she was that surprised to hear I was leaving. I think she was happy to hear I was doing something I wanted to be doing but her motherly intuitions forced her to tell me that she didn’t like the idea of me not knowing where I was going to sleep on a particular night. But she wasn’t too worried because she still thought she could take care of me no matter where I was or what I was doing. After all, I have yet to buy socks or underwear and I haven’t even lived at home in years. She was much more carefree and positive than my father so while I called him to talk about investment and bail money I called her to make me feel better about whatever was bothering me. And as she reminded me, there were a lot of things that bothered me about living here. I mean, just the logistics of getting away from the traffic and the ranchero music that seemed to be constantly playing outside my
window was reason enough to go. But leaving also meant I wouldn’t have to deal with the heat anymore. I wouldn’t have to order and pick up lunch everyday. And I wouldn’t have to drive across the city three different times in one night because everything is 20 miles from everything else which nobody ever seems to mind. I wouldn’t miss that mindset either. But it went deeper than just the logistics. Leaving LA would also free me from the mentality of the city, which for better or worse was all inclusive. Whether you were a famous actor or a lowly janitor you would never be too far removed from the entertainment industry and there were constant reminders of that fact. Getting away from it all would be good for me. I think. I guess the real reason I was doing this was because I was worried I’d still be in this same position a year from now. I’d be working the same job…going back and forth with Michelle… pretending like I was trying to do something with my career. And then I’d still be doing it the year after that. And then 5 years down the line. And even 10 years down the line. And I wasn’t going to let that happen. Sometimes people don’t change unless they force themselves to change, no matter how bad they need to. Whether a change this drastic was necessary was debatable, but I didn’t want to wake up one day and wonder why I was still doing the same thing I had been doing ever since I got to LA. So I decided to change my entire life. I wanted that change to be reflected in everything, including my appearance. I talked a friend of mine into giving me a pretty radical haircut to top everything off. He was a professional though so he knew what he was doing and he was living proof that mohawks are awesome. Even after all that soul searching and deliberation I still I didn’t know exactly what I was going to do with myself. If nothing else I had Chuck’s golf clubs only he lived in Oregon now. I think. It seemed like as good a place as any to start.