ads was even crazier though because I had no idea where I should live. Plus there were so many places that were insanely expensive and small. I didn’t want to live out of a glorified closet. There were some nice places in New Jersey although Tony and Jen both said to stay out of New Jersey. For any reason. I did finally find a place that seemed pretty cheap and was even right in the area but once I got over there and called the guy he told me about the “requirements” of living there. I wasn’t about to live in a place where I had to clean the living room in my underwear. Since I had no idea where I should be living or what I wanted to do
looking through the listings seemed to be rather pointless. It did make me feel better because I felt like I had accomplished something but really that just proves people are happy enough to lie to themselves. Or at least I was. Truthfully, I wasn’t concerned about such things because I knew it was getting dark and I wanted to get back to Manhattan to see if Jen and her roommate were up for a drink because I certainly needed one. I did have to promise them we’d be having more than one drink but that wasn’t exactly going to be a stretch for me. Hanging out with them was quite the experience because it was obvious why they were in New York. They loved this city and they loved their lives here. I suppose that shouldn’t have been much of a surprise for me though. I knew Jen liked to drink and they did have some great bars here. I mean, how can you go wrong with a place where women seem to be compelled to leave their bras? Of course it went deeper than the bar scene. Even when we were in LA Jen would always talk about New York with a longing in her eyes and voice that let you know how she felt about it here. She knew this is where she wanted to be and that feeling seemed to be everywhere and in everyone. Both she and her roommate
were working and living exactly where they wanted to be working and living. They were both happy with where they were in their lives which I’m sure is why having some dude stay with them didn’t bother them in the least. After all, when you’re happy like that the little things just don’t bother you. Why couldn’t I be like that? I mean, why couldn’t I take that kind of satisfaction out of what I was doing or where I was living? Being on the road and being able to see things that so many people don’t have the opportunity or chance to experience should have given me that feeling, but it didn’t. On top of that I now seemed to be finding excuses not to find a job or place to live in New York when I had been thinking about moving here for a long time. Why couldn’t I ever settle on something? Why couldn’t I feel satisfied with anything? I couldn’t figure out the why behind any of it so none of it made sense. But that was all still on me, wasn’t it? Luckily this wasn’t the time or place for such questions. We drank like crazy even though they had to