things could be. I mean, they were doing something they enjoyed, with people they enjoyed, and they were having the time of their lives. Random or not, something was working for them. I put up a good front and didn’t let any of them know how much everything had affected me. I had always made it a point not to let anyone see how much something hurt or affected me. There are some things that nobody needs to know about you. Besides, I didn’t want them thinking I was some sad sack if I was going to stay here. As far as they knew I was just visiting but there really was no reason not to stay for good. Flooding aside, here was just as good as anywhere else. Much as I tried to hide it I think the girls saw how uneven I was and did what they could to make me feel like I was a part of the group. Despite my mood I had a lot of fun with all of them. But I still couldn’t get past the fact that it was still just a random city, with random people, in a random world. I used to think I was different. I used to think I was special. I never thought I’d be wandering around some random a city in South Carolina looking for a job just to keep me occupied. But I had accepted the reality that I was just another cog in the infernal machine. That was why I just wanted to settle in here and be done with worrying about it. Maybe staying here made the most sense. Spending time with Sharon and her friends was great because I had never spent this much time with so many girls so I never even heard of craft night or sexy day or knew what six girls singing to a song in unison sounded like and being involved in that stuff made me feel like I was a part of something. Staying here would even change me from some dude who was just passing through so my relationship with any of them could have progressed into something more. But then Phil called me and
told me to come and see him, although I wasn’t sure how he found out I was in the area. Did I make some phone calls when I was drunk the other night? Did I call him? It didn’t really matter. I had somewhere else to go so I figured I should, even if I felt like I shouldn’t. It was like New York all over again. There was no real reason to leave but I nonetheless found myself on the road. I didn’t think my leaving was going to be a big deal so I just took off and gave Sharon a call to let her know I was gone. She yelled at me for leaving without saying goodbye and didn’t seem to understand why I was going but she just didn’t get it yet. She didn’t realize that if you don’t embrace the randomness of this life you’ll end up unfulfilled. But she would. They all would. It wasn’t as much of a relief as I thought it would be to get back on the road but maybe the driving was starting to wear me out. Or maybe it was the South itself. Just like with the side porches and flooding, you could look around anywhere down