He had the same old story about wanting to be done working at the bar but he told me he’d move out here with me if I was up for it and I have to say the idea gave me pause. I liked the action and energy of the city and how distinct it was. I think I might like to live here. But I was supposed to go back to Austin, wasn’t I? At least that was my intention when I left. The unrivaled energy and one-of-a-kind personality of Vegas was nice but I think the unauthenticness of everything bugged me. I guess you really can’t have it all. All of these thoughts were making me sick so I just told him nothing was set in stone. I was worried that Vegas might kill him though. Because if you drink and gamble this city could eat you alive since there was never any reason or need to stop drinking and gambling. Although maybe I would be in just as much trouble. I couldn’t see him going anywhere though. He was worried that if he took a job anywhere else it would be a step down for him status wise and pay wise and honestly, it probably would be. Staying on a train that’s going in the wrong direction just because you have a good seat on it doesn't make much sense though. He had his complaints but whether he realized it or not, ultimately he was leading the kind of life he wanted to be leading so he wasn’t going to change anything. I, on the other hand, had changed things and done things to try and figure out what I wanted but even after all this time and all this effort I still hadn’t. It made me sick. Or maybe that was the alcohol from the night before. Actually, it was almost definitely the alcohol because when I’m feeling sick about my life I don’t end up puking, which is exactly what I happened. Adam, elder statesman that he was, just kept making phone calls. Nonetheless, the awfulness of what I was dealing with didn’t make me regret anything I had done that forced me into this position. Maybe that was a lesson for all of this. Or maybe I just needed to slow down. Either way, I felt a lot better…even if I didn’t look it.
By the time we met back up with everyone they were drinking again but not totally into it yet. All the guys seemed content to ease into the night which wasn’t exactly the way it was supposed to go but my stomach was still a wreck and Adam could barely stand so we were in no condition to put up much of an argument. Besides, as long as drinking was involved we were satisfied. It gave me a chance to get to know some of these guys which was actually kind of an eye-opening experience. Porter had just finished up law school so a lot of his friends were my age or a little bit older but they were from all over the place. He had people from where he grew up in Kansas, people from where he went to college in Illinois, people from law school in Texas and people from where he lived in Colorado not to mention scattered family and friends. But they were all here to party.