the hell out. Which is nice…I’d imagine. He seemed to be happy and his desire to slow down and essentially settle down gave me pause. Maybe leaving so abruptly wasn’t such a good idea. I had picked up and moved on a whim before, but I was never giving up all that much. This time, there were things that I’d be giving up. It could be a mistake. A big mistake. And really, just getting up and leaving would leave a bad taste in my mouth. Like coming out here had been for nothing. I wasn’t a quitter, but I also wasn’t sure I still had the energy to pursue something out here. At least not the kind of energy Peter had since he was still doing whatever it took to succeed. Peter was always looking to hear back from casting directors and agents so he was constantly on his phone, much to my annoyance. I swear, I don’t know how this industry survived before cell phones but I imagine being inaccessible must have been nice once upon a time. On the other hand, when the call
comes about a 2nd audition for Cop#3, you’re pretty happy the casting director’s assistant’s intern can instantly get a hold of you. Funnily enough, he was the only guy I knew who would have no problem performing nude on stage but hated having his picture taken. It didn’t matter what the situation was, he refused to pose or even be in any kind of picture if he could. You had to respect that kind of commitment. I liked him though, partly because he was one of the few people to call me by my real name, rather than just Jeremy. I hated Jeremy. I also liked that much like myself, he didn’t have much time for people who complained about things, especially people who lamented about how hard it
was to work as an actor. But it also wasn’t easy to be a doctor or an architect or something along those lines. He treated acting seriously and because of that he found satisfaction in what he was doing. What was it that kept his fires burning? Was he that much more talented? That much more determined? Or was it simply a matter of being stubborn? Really it didn’t matter because he was still eager to do whatever it took to succeed…although I’m sure being stubborn helped. Regardless of the reason, Peter was committed to what he was doing and that was the key because there were always going to be people ready and willing to do what you weren’t. Just like all those people trying to be doctors and architects and just like all those people who showed up to audition or even people who showed up to open calls looking to get a job as a waiter. If you couldn’t commit to something you were going to get pushed aside for someone who would. But what should I commit to? What could I commit to? Should I rededicate myself to my job? Go back out on auditions? Start writing again? I had already done all that. Getting out and hitting the road though…that was appealing because there were new experiences out there. Places I had never seen and things I had never done. But with that comes the dangerous unknown. I didn’t know what to do.