If you start worrying about what might happen you’d be living your life in fear. If you worried about what other people wanted you to do you’d be living a life full of regret. And I refused to do either. I think my sisters understood what I was saying. And I think they understood where I was coming from because they were dealing with
similar pressures. But they still had a look of worry in their eyes. My brother’s were just glazed over. Socially, when I wasn’t spending time with my girlfriend, pretty much all I did was go to bars and hang out with friends while drinking to various degrees. Just to do something different I started golfing…and hated it. I needed to clear my head though, so when KT called me to see if I wanted to play I was more than happy to go. I was at an extra disadvantage because I was golfing with a set of right-handed clubs that my friend Chuck left behind when he moved and I’m a lefty. So needless to say I was pretty awful. But I didn’t care. I’d be awful no matter what set of clubs I was using. Really though, I wanted to go because going out with KT would allow me to get an objective opinion about what I should do with myself.
Even though we had gone golfing a couple times and played cards together we weren’t exactly close. I didn’t even know what KT stood for. But that would allow him to give me an honest opinion about what he thought I should do with myself since he wouldn’t be concerned about things like my safety or sanity. I laid out my options for him but he barely even glanced at me as he sized up his shots and only responded to say something about his swing or why he was using a particular club. Not that it made any difference to me. I could barely tell one club from another. When I talked about getting out and hitting the road in detail he asked me why I was even thinking about doing something like that. He told me about the two times he drove across the country and how there really was nothing out there. That is unless I wanted to see oddities such as the world’s largest frying pan. He didn’t recall exactly where it was though. For me it wasn’t about
sightseeing or visiting the world’s largest frying pan, exciting as that may be. I felt like I needed some perspective that I could only get by seeing what else was out there. Exactly how everything would work out I had no idea but that wasn’t the issue. All that mattered to me was that I’d be doing something that I wanted to be doing. And if nothing else, it certainly beat ordering and picking up lunch everyday. KT was focused on his shots and getting birdy, or whatever it’s called, but my mind was racing. I was concerned about doing something like this because I figured I would grow tired of it at some point. I was worried that I would regret leaving my life here. I was apprehensive about